


Nails and Glasses

by catwearsblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, But fluff mostly I hope, Fluff, If i know myself there might be a little angst who knows, M/M, Nails but not in a creepy way, Phil is a teacher wow so original, idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2018-10-03 00:05:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10231079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catwearsblack/pseuds/catwearsblack
Summary: Darcy's teacher appoints a meeting to which none of her parents can attend, so Dan steps in.(Or the one Dan isn't confident with his sexuality and won't paint his nails until he is)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firstbady](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstbady/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I doing this? Idk mate it's almost 1 am and I started two hours ago. Sometimes I need to write to get things out of my system. I hope you like it, don't be harsh on me, it's the first phanfic I write on my own so please be gentle. Enjoy this ride, cause I have no idea where this is heading to.

[Dan's POV]

"I mean, yeah, I guess", I said.  
"You GUESS? C'mon, Dan, don't try to play it cool. I know you're dying to come with me", Louise repplied. Ugh, she is right (as always), I do want to go with her to the nail salon. I'm so curious about it, I don't even know why.  
"Are you gonna paint those nasty things you call 'nails' as well?" she pointed at my fingertips.  
"Hey, they're not nasty!"  
"Your mum's nasty!"  
"So is your granny!"  
"Don't you dare ever insulting Nanna Pentland again, I'll cut your balls off!"  
"Fine, I'll insult your aunt then!"  
She rolled her eyes, and repeated "Are you gonna paint them or not?"  
"Ummm... No, I don't think so"  
"Why?" she tilted her head a bit.  
"Not comfortable enough with my sexuality yet to paint my nails. Fuck gender roles, but I'm not ready", I looked down.  
"It's not that big of a deal, sweetie, I was just asking. You do whatever you want. If you change your mind tell me and I'll paint them myself."  
"Thanks, you're the best", I hugged her.  
"I know, I know, what would you do without me?"  
"Have an on-going existencial crisis for days and die because I would forget to drink water and to eat. Trip on the apartment's stairs and live with my arm broken cause I wouldn't go to the doctor's"  
"Exactly, you need me more than you realize. You should be thankful for this great human being standing in front of you"  
"Where? All I see in front of me is a conceived old mommy", I tried to pull off my best look of innocence before she playfully punched my shoulder.  
"I don't know why I put up with you"  
"Because you love me, that's why"  
"Or maybe because you pay half of the rent and aren't terrible with Darcy"  
"Your daughter adores her Uncle Danny"  
"Well, tell Uncle Danny that if he keeps avoiding choosing which shirt he wants, I'm going to leave him here and go to the nail salon without him", she said, looking at her watch. "Seriously, Dan, we've been here for half an hour and you haven't decided if you like the navy or the baby pink shirt better. You have ten minutes to hurry up or I'll go by myself"  
"Which one do you think suits me better?"  
"For the eleventh time, they're both pretty. Just pick the navy one, or the pink, or both, I don't really care right now, my feet are sore and I need my mani-pedi asap"  
Seeing the desperate look on her face, I quickly paced over to the cashier to buy both shirts. The navy one is what I need, a plain shirt to wear to formal grown-up stuff, and the pink shirt, well, Darcy has a similar one and I like to be that annoying matchy-matchy adult with his child, except that she's not mine, she's Louise's. I treat and love her like a daughter, but she is actually my goddaughter.  
My flatmate and I walk outside and get in the first taxi we see, heading towards her favourite salon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liked it? I wanted to write Phil's POV but it's been a long day, I'm tired and dry after Dan's. Feel free to comment, any criticism is welcome!  
> Also, thanks to firstbady for reading this and making me go on. You know I hate you x


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourself, you might find all the nail talk boring, I'm sorry, I just had to, it's important for the plot, I swear on Tyler Joseph's beautiful hair.  
> Also, I tried to write a longer chapter, let's see how it goes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know it's been a week but school and stuff, but it's finally here! Hope you like it, I tried.  
> Thanks for all the 98 hits so far and the kuddos, I love you if you read any of this phan rambling I like to call “phanfiction". I most certainly don't deserve you as well, I'm low-key freAKING OUT cause 98 hits wow it's almost 100 and I can't imagine that many people reading something I wrote, thank you so so much.

[Dan's POV]

So Louise and I are in this nail salon and I swear to God I want both to kiss and to slap the person who named this place, it is literally called "Nailed It". For fuck's sake.  
"Are you here to paint your nails?", asked the reception lady.  
"Hmm, she is", I answered, signaling towards my best friend. "But I'd like to see if that's okay"  
"Totally. You can go sit on those chairs and Nelly will be right there with you", she smiled warmly.  
We sat down and soon after there was the foremensioned Nelly, showing Louise different nail polish colours and starting to work on her hands and feet. She ended up choosing this navy blue gel polish thing to all of her nails. "Sure you don't wanna paint yours, bear? Not trying to peer pressure you or anything, but maybe just one?"  
"Okay, the pinkie. Black. No more. Not ready", I gave in. I can always remove it when I get home, right?  
"Do you want gel, acrylic or normal polish?", Nelly questioned.  
"I think the normal one will do it? I can't tell the difference between them, can it be the easiest to remove, please?"  
"Of course! Normal black pinkie it is! But you'll have to wait until your wife's done"  
"Oh, nonononono, I'm not his wife. I accept flatmate, best friend and adoptive mum. If anything, he's the wife and I'm the husband", she quickly responded.  
"Sorry, miss", Nelly laughed.  
"Why am I the wife? I should be the husband, I'm as manly as it gets"  
"Sure, Dan, keep telling yourself that"  
I pouted and crossed my arms and I heard a "Always such a drama queen" through Louise's gritted teeth.  
After what felt like an eternity, the blonde woman's nails were all painted and in five minutes I had a shiny black pinkie nail on my right hand. I have to admit, I kinda like it.  
Louise paid to the reception lady and I was about to take money from my wallet when the nice lady said "Keep your money, dear, we're not charging you for a pinkie nail, that's ridiculous. Come back soon!"  
And then we left, heading to the tube to pick Darcy up from school and go back home.

-

"Mummy, Mr. Lester gave us a note!", the little girl said, handing a paper to her mum. She read it and rubbed her temples.  
"Jesus, I have to call your teacher. He set a meeting and I can't go, I have a work reunion I can't miss that day. Daddy can't possibly attend it as well, I'll have to reschedule this"  
"What if I go instead?", I interrogated her. "I'm sure I can make it"  
"I don't know, Dan, it's supposed to be a parent-teacher meeting"  
"Yeah, but neither of you can make it. I'm her godfather, I live with her, I know what she's doing at school. I'm like 91% her third parent"  
"I guess. The headmaster already knows you, so there probably won't be any problems. Okay, but you don't have to if you don't want to"  
"I do, tell me when it is"  
"Thursday, five thirty pm"  
"I'll be there". As I work as a blog designer and developer from home, I can pretty much schedule my days as I want to, procrastinate and be lazy, help at home and with Darcy, so going to a school meeting is definitely manageable. Let's go meet that Mr. Lester and see what he has to say about my baby's school progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I have never written the word nail so much and I'm quite sick of it.  
> Secondly, Dan HAD to be a blog designer, we've seen how talented he is after he showed his twelve year-old self's blog. Such skills can't be wasted, can they?  
> *Dan's voice* THIS IS CYBERBULLYING!"  
> I know, I'm sorry Dan for being an awful person.  
> Next chapter we'll meet this Mr. Lester guy, hmmm... *wink wink*  
> Feel free to comment anything, I appreciate it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say it was a successful meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a big chunk of this chapter on Friday and for some reason it wasn't saved as a draft, I've lost it forever and now I have to rewrite everything. I want death.

[Dan's POV]

It's finally Thursday, I'm entering the school to attend the meeting. I knock on the first grade classroom door and I hear a male voice saying "Come on in!". I step inside and sitting at the desk there's this, if I am honest, really cute guy with black hair and striking blue eyes. Calm down, Daniel, breeeaaaaaath. Yes, exactly, don't start hyperventilating now, it probably isn't a good first impression.  
"Hello, Mr. Watson, we're here to talk about Darcy"  
"Oh, I'm not her dad. I'm her godfather, flatmate, third parent and cool involved uncle, here to replace her parents, none of them could come", I explained.  
"Alright, Mr.?", he questioned.  
"Howell, Dan Howell, and you? Stupid question, you're Mr. Lester"  
"Phil", he giggled. God, he's so adorable. "Now, about Darcy and her progress. Don't worry, this is a standard procedure I have to repeat with every parent which, if I may, isn't exactly fun. Some parents just-", he sighed. "Social interactions with people above the age of ten are already quite disastrous, but some parents even make it worse"  
"I get you, man, I'm pretty awkward myself. Maybe that's why I don't have many friends and no plans for Thursday. I've always thought Thursday is the best day of the week to have a date". Wait, what? Why did I say this? Fuck, I've ruined whatever this was and he's blushing now, oh God oh God oh God kill me please.

-

[Phil's POV]

Did he indirectly ask me on a date? Is he hiting on me? I mean, he's extremely handsome, with that soft fringe and squishy face, I wouldn't mind, but he's probably just rambling. I feel my face burn, I bet I'm blushing and so is he.  
"Hmm, well, you won't have problems finding yourself a date for tonight, look at you", my face heats up a lot more, I don't know how that's possible. Avoid the subject, avoid it avoid it avoid it you're making him uncomfortable. Professional, try to be professional. "Moving on, Darcy. She's doing brilliant, she has memorized the ABC's faster than the other kids, she's doing great in maths, she's always the first to volunteer to read aloud"  
"Yeah, me and Louise read to her every night and Darcy's been asking to be the one to read lately, which we've been encouraging"  
"That's really good, just bear in mind you shouldn't push it or she'll grow to hate it. Also, she might begin to be or feel excluded from the rest of the children cause she's ahead of them, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, the others will catch up. It's only a heads up, pay attention if she doesn't want to read anymore. However, don't stop encouraging her, it'll pay off later"  
"Will do", and just as he completed the sentence, his phone rang. Is it... Is his ringtone "Theme of King JJ"? He signals to excuse himself and moves to the back of the room to answer the call. I can hear him mumble before he hungs up.  
"Louise, wanting to know if I was here"  
"Is your ringtone really "Theme of King JJ"?"  
"Only for Louise, it suits her. You dork"  
"She's such a nice lady, don't be mean to her. Don't go all "you dork" on me, you were the one to set the ringtone"  
"And you were dorky enough to recognize it. Plus, don't call Louise a "nice lady" because one: she's not, she's evil, you don't know her like I do, and two: when you say it like that you make it sound like she's some sixty-year-old!"  
"As you wish. Well, I think we're done talking about Darcy, do you have any question?"  
He seemed to hesitate and a rosy patch appeared on his cheek before he said "May I have your phone number?". He looked at his feet and added "I'd like to set a ringtone for you..."  
"Hey", he looked up, "Gimme your phone, I'll write it down for you", and he handed it over. I wrote my number and gave it back. He smiled, he has dimples when he smiles and these crinkles around his eyes, he's so soft and I just want to pinch his cheeks.  
"Are you serious?", he asked. "Did you actually put "AmazingPhil" as your contact name?"  
"Yes, and I'd like to have your number too", I said, giving him my phone; he wrote and then gave it back.  
"Well, I'm looking forward to talk to you later, "danisnotonfire", though I still think you're quite hot", I whispered, and someone knocked on the door. "Other parents. The kids are outside on the playground, you can pick your niece up"  
"I'll leave you then, bye", he smiled and waved, existing through the door. I watched him through the window hugging Darcy, picking her up and kissing her on the cheek. She looked back and waved at me, Dan noticed and grinned as well.  
"Mr. Lester?", Mrs. Sloan called.  
"Ah, yes, Mrs. Sloan, hello. We're here to discuss Jake's progress - excuse me", I said as I felt my phone buzz inside my pocket. I took it out and saw a text from a certain danisnotonfire, "will you be my thursday night date?", to which I rushed to answer "looking forward to it. mum here cant talk, till later x". He soon responded "feeling flirty arent we? have fun".  
I. HAVE. A DATE. TONIGHT. WITH A O.U.T.R.A.G.E.O.U.S.L.Y. CUTE BOY.  
"Hmm, is everything okay, Mr Lester?", Mrs. Sloan spoke.  
"Wonderful. Now, about Jake"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked to write bigger chapters, and I seriously tried, I've been writing all day (while procrastinating on Tumblr but shhhh, no one needs to know that). Hope you liked it, feel free to comment anything, even if it is just to correct any grammar mistake.  
> Thanks to everyone who left kuddos and to the ones who read this, I still can't believe it has 234 hits ohmygodhowwhythanks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people, thanks for all the kuddos and hits and that bookmark, here's another chapter, enjoy!
> 
> (I was supposed to upload this yesterday but I wrote very little because I didn't feel much like it then, I'm so sorry)

[Phil's POV]

 

_Hey! Finally free_

_Hello mister ;) still up for that date?_

_Yes :D where are u taking me?_

_Its a surprise, just text me your adress and I'll pick u up at 8?_

_Sounds good_ \- and then I sent him what he asked for. I still can't believe I have a date with such a cute guy. Better, a cute  _nerdy_ guy, something tells me he's as much of a dork as I am.

_Only one thing: what do you feel about cats?_

_One of the cutest species to exist!_

_Awesome! Ugh as much as I want to keep talking I have to get myself ready for tonight_

_About that do I need to wear smt formal or more casual?_

_More casual please though I bet you'd look hot in a suit ;)_

 

I smiled and proceeded to open my flat door. I put my bag with school stuff on the floor and head to the bathroom to take a shower. I have decided to wear some black skinny jeans and a white-dotted blue shirt with short sleeves. Casual enough, right? Insert contact lenses, straighten hair, put on mismatching socks (sloths and foxes) and some white vans: outfit complete!

It's still 7.30pm and I have to keep myself busy; maybe plan tomorrow's lesson? Yeah, that's it. I grab my laptop and books from the inside of my bag try to figure out how I'm gonna teach the kids all this stuff. I'm kinda hungry, but I suppose Dan's going to feed me. I hope. He wouldn't let me starve, would he?

I jumped on my sofa when I heard the knocking on the door, I lost track of time thinking about food and classes. I got up, trying to unwrinkle my shirt with my hands while I pace towards the door. I unlock it and there he is, sporting a happy and somewhat smug grin on his face, an all-black long-sleeved jumper, a black jacket and black skinny jeans. Oh, and black sneakers as well.

"Feeling grimm, aren't we?", I teased.

"What, this?", he showcased his outfit with a hand gesture. "This is just my aesthetic. Black on black on black, like "I'm over my emo phase but black still represents my soul". Don't you like it?"

"Very much, Mr. Slenderman", I laughed.

"I'll ignore that just because you look so cute. Now, are you ready to leave?"

"Let me just grab my things, come on in!", and then I looked for my keys, phone and wallet, that turned out to be resting on my bookshelf.

"Okay, I'm ready. Where are we going?", I gave him my best puppy eyes.

"I'm not looking to those beautiful eyes of yours, I'm not gonna fall for your mindbending tricks. It won't be a surprise if I tell you"

"Pleeeeease, Daaan?"

"No way. Oh, how convenient, a taxi waiting for us, no idea how the driver guessed", he remarked.

"And I suppose he already knows where we're going?"

"Exactly."

 

-

 

Dan brought me to this cool restaurant, and now we're walking out.

"Dinner was amazing", I confessed.

"Indeed, but this isn't over yet"

"It isn't? Where are you taking me?"

"Well, I figured you might like a tea with biscuits or something to wrap everything up, so we're going to... A CAT CAFÉ!"

"Really?!"

"Yup. Right here", he stopped in front of a door and opened it for me. "Cuties first"

 

-

 

[Dan's POV]

 

This guy makes me so cheesy, I'm melting with how adorable, nerdy, witty, literal ray of sunshine he is. But. He's sneezing. Constantly.

"Phil..."

"Yes -", he sneezes, "- Dan?"

"Is there something you're not telling me? Maybe your allergy to cats?"

"What? No, I'm not allergic to cats", he says while petting a yellow kitten.

"Oh, is that so? Then explain to me, if you will, why all this sneezing since you came in here? Also, your eyes are red and puffy - stop petting him!"

"But, his name is Noodles and he's so fluffy, how can I -", another sneeze, "- resist him? Okay, I  _might_ have a slight allergy to cats I haven't told you about"

"Might - a slight? Get up, come sit in this booth with me.

I sat down in front of him and start to play footsie with him.

"You know, Howell, two can play this game"

"Show me"

A waiter arrives and asks us what we want.

"A chamomille tea and a lemon cookie for me", I order.

"I'd like a lime tea and a crumpet like those on display. And some butter, please"

"Sure thing. Be right back, lads. Enjoy the cats", the waiter walks away.

"I believe you had something to show me"

"Indeed", he stretches his hand and intertwines his fingers with mine, I can feel my face turning red at the contact.

"You win. Not letting go of this hand until our drinks arrive.", I clasp my fingers against his even tighter.

"Does this date have to end?"

"I wish I couls day no, but you have school tomorrow morning. About that, will you get in trouble for dating me?"

"I don't think so, I'm not allowed to date parents or legal guardians, but I think we're fine"

"Good", I sighed in relief. "I wouldn't want to cause you trouble at work, but I don't want to stop seeing you"

"Awww... What do  _you_ do for a living?"

"I design websites, which is why I can afford to pick Darcy up everyday as I work from home"

"Here, gentlemen, your orders. Continue your date", the man left our food and drinks on the table and winked.

"Are we that obvious?, I questioned.

"Well, we're still holding hands and you're playing footsie down there"

"Oh, right", I snicker. I stared into his amazingly blue eyes and when I woke from my transe it was time to return him to his flat and go back home myself, to sleep and dream about two sky-coloured irises.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They text each other and there's a new character, nothing much really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a week, I'm truly sorry for making you wait for so long, but it's finally here! I tried to make it a bit bigger to redeem myself...

[Dan's POV]

 

I woke up rather late today, nearly 11am, Louise and her daughter long gone. I check my phone and see a text from my flatmate, asking if I, quoting, "had fun with Mr. Lester last night" winky face. I know that the teasing is nothing more than a joke so I reply in the same note.

_A gentleman like me should not kiss and tell about such things_

And of course this brings me back to my date yesterday and I hesitate before deciding to text him, ignoring the anxious thoughts in the back of my mind about Phil finding me weird and clingy.

_Why do men have boobs? They're weird and useless_

Not really expecting an answer until noon when it's lunch time for the kids and teachers, I finally get up and make me some breakfast and sit in front of my desk computer to do some work, not bothering to change clothes.

I feel my phone buzz and I almost fall off the chair. Two new text messages; leaving the best for last, I read Louise's first.

_We both know that you came home too early to have had that kind of fun xd_

_As if you'd know_

_Dan, i have a daughter, i know how long it takes to have sex. Unless you guys orgasm after 5 mins i don't think you got lucky_

_At least i had a date_

_Don't you have work to do? Cause i sure do_

Okay, maybe she knows me too well. I feel excitement run through my body as I open Phil's text.

_idk. What else is weird? Maybe your single black fingernail, though not that useless_

_yeah maybe, but why isn't it useless?_

_It was the reason why I went on a date with you. As you're super ugly and I'm not into nerds, it intrigued me enough to agree to go on a date with you_

I can sense the sarcasm, so I realise what he's saying and ohmygod is he calling me pretty? And that he's into nerds like me?

_And i forgot to ask it yesterday during dinner and tea, so tell me Danny boy: why do you have a single black pinkie nail?_

I roll my eyes and widden my grin simultaneously at the nickname. If we're here yet, it's only fair if I do the same, right?

_well, Philly-milly, im trying to get comfortable with my sexuality and when i completely reach that stage I'll paint all my finger nails_

_you seemed pretty confident yesterday, you were the one to start the flirting and playing footsie_

_Yeah but this is more about stereotypes and gender roles_

_i think i get it. Gotta go watch the kids, talk later?_

_Can't wait x_

 

-

 

[Phil's POV]

 

The day went on nicely, though it was quite hard to concentrate with all the thoughts about Dan inside my brain. This boy truly is something else: first he asks me on a date, calls me cute, plays footsie and is a big flirt in very public spaces, then tells me he's insecure about his sexuality in regards to gender roles and stereotypes. I guess I understand what he's trying to say, but still. I'd give the world to find out what goes on in that unique mind of his.

"So Phil, whose parent plastered that smile on your face? Trent's dad? He's hot. Or was it Bianca's mum, what's her name...? Reena, I think that's it. No, she's engaged. Maybe Wesley and Quentin's dad? He's not something to throw away neither. Why do you have all the best parents?", the second year theacher, Ms. Fletcher, wondered.

"None of them, Carrie, you know we can't date parents"

"Then who are you dating?", she smirked.

"Promise not to tell anyone?"

"I swear by my mother's cat, now tell me!"

"Hmm, I", I can feel the blood rush to my cheeks, "I went out with Darcy's godfather, uncle, whatever, yesterday and I quite like him", I confessed, burying my face in my palms.

"Oh, I think I know who you're talking about. Tall, brown hair, fringe, dimples?", she smiles warmly and I hum in response. "Wow, you snatched the very best one! You deserve it.", the bell rang. She got up to gather her class but said before leaving, "You're going to tell me  _everything_ about that guy and the romantic date you had later, I won't let you get away. See you", she waved goodbye.

Whoop, get up, Philly, time to transmit to those kids some valuable knowledge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it, let me know by commenting!  
> Thanks for all the kuddos and hits, I appreciate every single one of them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling their besties how much they fancy the other boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I take so long to upload this? Maybe because I started reading this huge phanfic ("The Summer" by insanityplays and phansdick) and basically shut off until I finished reading it yesterday.  
> Oh well. I'm sorry. Biggest chapter so far!

[Phil's POV]

 

"How hadn't you met him before? I see him here almost every day"

"I have _no idea_ ", I sighed.

"Moving on, tell me more about that date"

"Well... We held hands while we were at the café until I had to leave the taxi". I can feel myself blushing, hopefully Carrie won't notice it. "He has these giant, warm, soft hands and mine fits perfectly in his...", I trailed off.

She squealed, "Looks like Philly here has a crush! Can I be the third wheel on your next date?"

"Of course you can't!"

"Why? Would you prefer if it were a double date with Pete and I?", she wiggled her brows.

"Shush, young lady! Dan and I haven't talked about meeting again so don't jinx it!". I shoved her gently. "Do you think he likes me?", oh my, my cheeks are flushed again.

"He's an idiot if he doesn't! Let me know: has he texted you since yesterday?"

"Yeah, he was the first to do it"

"And he took you to a restaurant and to a cat café on your first date? And held your hand for so long?"

"Indeed"

"Last one: did he, in any way, flirt with you?"

"He did flirt and play footsie under the table"

"Then how can you even doubt it? Course he likes you! I'm asking myself if you're not the real idiot, Phil!"

"Hey!", I pouted. "Dan's way cuter than you are!"

"I'm not even bothered when all I can hear are wedding bells ringing!"

"That's because you are crazy, normal people don't hear wedding bells in school"

"You'll hear them too, just wait. I'll be extremely offended if I'm not your maid of honour and if I'm not the godmother of at least half of the six kids you'll have. I deserve it"

"Have I ever told you you're a hopeless romantic?"

"Around a million times but you love me the same"

"I don't, I secretly hate you", I frowned and Carrie kissed me on the cheek. "You're like the Ron to my Harry"

"Awww, Phil"

 

-

 

[Dan's POV]

 

How did I manage not to freak out over having a date with someone as sunshine-y as Phil, I'm still to find out.

"...and his hand fits so well in mine. About fitting well, that black hair truly suits him. He has the most gorgeous eyes I've seen in forever and he looks adorable and dorky and sexy with those glasses he wears sometimes and he's funny and amazing and sometimes he slips out a word with a northern-y accent and th-"

"Dan, you're completely head over heels for this man, I have never seen you quite like this. You've only known him since _yesterday_ and you're already in this state, I can't begin to imagine how you'll be like after your second date or your first kiss with him", she nodded, smiling. "I'm starting to wonder if he's some kind of flawless angel descended to Earth", she rolled her eyes playfully.

"You just described him as he is. Please let me rant about all the things I like about Phil"

"But you adore _everything_ Phil-related!"

"Yes, you should have seen him in his button-up, he looked so good! He's so nerdy you wouldn't believe, and the way he pokes out his tongue a little when he laughs is definitely one of my favourite Phil features and h-"

"Danny, do you have a  _boyfriend_?", Darcy suddenly appeared grasping onto my legs and I couldn't help it but to laugh.

"No, sweetie, uncle Dan doesn't have a boyfriend yet but he does have  **a big crush**!", the small girl's mum exclaimed.

"I want another uncle and lots of baby cousins for me to play with and to teach", Darcy stated. "Who do you fancy? I fancy Jamie Bloomer"

"Hmm, I'll have to check that Jamie Bloomer, missy. My baby's not allowed to have a crush on anyone but me", I picked her up and began to spread sloppy wet kisses all over her face her giggling echoing through the air.

"Ewwww, you're gross! Boys are gross! Except Jamie cause he plays tag with me and that makes him not gross"

"Good sense of logic, Darcy! If I play tag with you do I stop being gross?"

"Maybe", she shrugged. "Though you still haven't told me who your crush is"

"Okay, fine, I fancy Mr. Lester, your teacher"

"I like him, he's funny and clumsy, always tripping on something. He's the best teacher!"

"I'm glad you approve him", I winked. "I approve Jamie too, only if he doesn't hurt you or makes you sad. If he does, tell me right away and I'll teach that boy not to do such things to my princess"

"He won't, he's my best friend", I put her back on the wooden floor "Will you help me with my homework? Mr. Lester was happy today so he told us to draw what makes  _us_ happy"

"I wonder why", Louise's voice came in from the kitchen.

"Shut up! Darcy, do you think I should do a drawing of my source of happiness for Mr. Lester?

"Yes! Come on!", the blondie dragged me into her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kuddos and hits, really.  
> Feel free to comment anything, literally /anything/ I'm desperate (jk but I'm actually kinda serious).


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interesting lesson and a deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Sorry for being shit at uploading, I'm trying.  
> May is going to be the busiest month /ever/, so I'm sorry if my uploading schedule will turn out even worse.  
> At least this is a bigger chapter.

[Phil's POV]

"Okay, kids, time for you to show the class your homework! I want each one of you to stand in front of the blackboard and explain what makes you happy and why. Who wants to go first?", I see a few hands raising. "Jaime, you've been chosen!"

The little boy smiled brightly, grabbed his drawing and walked up to stand next to my desk. He held up his artwork and explained, "So, this is me here, and this is Darcy, and we're getting married because we're the bestest friends and she ties my shoelaces!"

"Good job, Jaime! When did you propose?", I asked, as seriously as I could in this situation.

"This morning right before the bell rang! My big sister Alice gave me one of her rings, and I grabbed Darcy's hand, kneeled down and she said yes!", he looked at his "fiancee" and she raised her tiny hand to show off a grey plastic ring with a big heart-shapped pink rhinestone on it. The entire class cooed at it, I think I even heard Ryder demand to be the best man.

"Well, then it's only logical if Darcy's the next to come, isn't it? Come on", I called her.

"Actually, Mr. Lester, I have two drawings..."

"Oh, do you have that many things that make you happy? That's very good"

"No, sir, one of these sheets isn't mine, it's my uncle's, he wanted to do art too"

"I'm sure it'll be almost as excellent as yours. Go on, show everyone what makes your and your uncle's hearts flutter with joy"

"Mine has me, Bear - that's what I call my uncle -, mummy, daddy and Jaime playing hide and seek. Mum's counting, Dad's hiding behind this tree, Jamie and I are under the slide, and Danny is trying to fit into the bush but he's too tall and mum's gonna find him"

Bear. Make sure to register that, Phil, you're certainly going to need it.

"That's awesome, little Miss Watson! Or should I call you little Mrs. Bloomer now?", I winked (at least tried to) and the whole class laughed. "Do you want the others to see your uncle's drawing too? Can you tell us what he did?"

"Yes", she nodded. "He made me memorize it: "Darcy's friends, I tried but I'm" - he said a naughty word here and mum shoved him - "at drawing, so I can only hope you can see my little girl" - it's me, though I've told him I'm not little anymore", she pointed at a honestly really not that bad figure of a blonde girl. "There's more: "This is my computer, which makes me able to do my dream work and watch YouTube videos, and beside it I tried to draw some food"

"What's that in the corner?", Hayley's voice came through.

"He said that's not for you, it's for Mr. Lester. Uncle wants to give you all a hug and meet you, Jamie"

"Ooooh, Jamie, meeting the bride's family is a big deal", I teased him, mind still trying to figure out what Dan did for me, but it's partially hidden by Darcy's hand.

"I can't wait to meet him, your uncle seems so cool!"

"You may sit down now, and leave that conversation with your husband-to-be for recess, please. Miles, it's your turn"

And so the rest of the children displayed their art until the next break, when the small student came to me with the paper.

She put it on the desk in front of me, "Bear drew you and him in the London Eye and asked if you'd like to go on a date with him there this weekend?", she paused to look me in the eyes. "Mum told me she's never seen him like this, that she thinks this is more than a crush"

"Tell your mum I really really really like him, but don't let Dan know of this, okay? Just say I'll be counting the minutes till our date. Be honest with me, missy, do you think I'm being too sappy?"

" 'kay. Danny calls me missy too. I don't think you're being sappy though, just in love. And maybe a tad sappy. Are you in love?"

Blush blush blush blush, oh God, stuttering and mumbling. There's a question I definitely wasn't expecting. "Hmmm, uhh, I-I... No, not love yet, but I do care a lot about Dan"

"Do you want to be his boyfriend?"

"Shhhh, it's a secret!"

"Is that a yes? Can I tell my mum?

"Fine, but if Dan finds out I'm not going to be your wedding priest!"

"Deal", we shook our hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Dan's POV this time, sorry.  
> What did you think? Leave a comment!  
> Thanks for the kuddos and hits x


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't uploaded in almost a month and it's short and not my best but life is messy, but don't worry, school finishes tomorrow and i have a few weeks before exams so maybe more updates?

[Dan's POV]

 

"So, how did today go?", I ask my goddaughter as soon as she steps into our home, Louise right behind her.

"Well, Lucy likes Jake, Molly has a new bracelet, it's very pretty, everyone showed their drawings to Mr. Lester and Jaime and I got married"

"Is that so? What a lucky fella he is", her mum replied. "Did you have a big beautiful wedding?"

"What?! My baby got married? No, I want you to divorce, missy", I interrupted.

"It's fine, I'm not divorcing Jaime, I like him very much. We were under the tree, Ryder was the best man, Hayley was the maid of honour, and Mr. Lester the priest"

"He what? Did he actually agree and officiate all of this?". I'm shocked, to say the least.

Darcy nodded, "He said he's looking forward to your date"

"I'll text him in a bit, I just want to know more about Jaime, I need to know if he's worthy of my princess"

 

-

 

**danisnotonfire**

_i heard you authorized your students' marriage_

**AmazingPhil**

_Calm down they're just kids being kids_

**danisnotonfire**

_did you enjoy my piece of art?_

**AmazingPhil**

_the most marvelous masterpiece i've seen, only second to you ;)_

**danisnotonfire**

_omg Phil that was sooooo cheesy_

**AmazingPhil**

_you love it, don't lie to me_

**danisnotonfire**

_...about our date_

**AmazingPhil**

_yes?_

**danisnotonfire**

_Darcy told me you were excited_

**AmazingPhil**

_i am_

_Are you gonna wear all black again?_

**danisnotonfire**

_maybe why?_

**AmazingPhil**

_just wondering. do i have to like wear anything in particular?_

**danisnotonfire**

_some clothes would be nice lol smt warm_

**AmazingPhil**

_if you pay again im gonna tickle attack you_

**danisnotonfire**

_A tickle attack doesn't sound that bad_

**AmazingPhil**

_im merciless, bear_

**danisnotonfire**

_Bear? Darcy!_

**AmazingPhil**

_oh let her be it's adorable_

**danisnotonfire**

_im kind of scared of what else Darcy may have told you_

**AmazingPhil**

_Is there anything you want to share?_

**danisnotonfire**

_nope_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you thought, I'm curious and more often than not, unmotivated.  
> Thanks for the hits, kuddos and comments!  
> Oh, happy pride month!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *date day*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more chapters soon, she said. almost two months without uploading and i come back with a tiny shit chapter but since i last posted i've been through hell and back; this is literally my best atm so i'm truly sorry, i felt like i had to put this out today since you've been waiting for so long.

**[Phil's POV]**

 

"Fuck you! You motherf-"

"Language, there're kids here! Bang!"

"Mother _fluffer_! And- ahhhhh!!!! I've lost it!"

"I won! Yes! Now you have to buy me some marshmallows", I look around and see slightly scared children. "If I knew you were so loud I wouldn't have brought you to an arcade. Seriously Dan, these kids might as well seen the Babadook"

"It's called being  _expressive_ , not loud, I'm not loud."

"And a chipmunk can't gather up to 165 acorns in a day", I roll my eyes.

"Can it really?", he looks curious.

"Yeah, and axolotls spend their whole lives underwater. Anyway, should we head to the London Eye?"

"You can't just wow me with those animal facts and drag me off like nothing happenned!"

"Course I can, watch me!", I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the arcade, walking us to the ferris wheel.

 

-

 

"That looks like you", Dan points at a nearby building.

"Well that's you", I mention a bridge.

"Pancakes or waffles?"

"Pancakes, wh-"

"Red or blue?"

"Blue, but Da-"

"Dogs or cats?"

"Dogs"

"Kiss you or not?"

"Definetely kiss me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> use the comments to tell me how much this sucked! (i apreciated the kuddos and hits on the last chapter)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, fluff and fast forward!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took two months to write so little, I'm horrible at uploading regularly. I'm going through a lot and haven't had much inspiration, but I hope you'll enjoy this!

**[Dan's POV]**

 

"Why's that big smile?", Louise said, a knowing smile plastered on her face.

"Well, I just got myself a boyfriend"

"Congrats! Seems like you had a fun night, then. What did you guys do? Tell me all about it"

"We had dinner and went for a ride on the London Eye and we kissed, walked around and talked"

"Is he a good kisser?"

"Louise!"

"Is he?"

"...Yes"

 

-

 

**[Phil's POV]**

 

"Soooo... You went on date, Philly... How did it go?", Carrie asked me during recess.

"It was amazing"

"Someone's lovestruck... Come on, tell me all about it"

"I'm not lo-lovestruck", I spluttered. "But we did have a nice dinner. And went into the London Eye. And kissed. And talked"

"Hmmm? Just one kiss?"

"Carrie!"

"You didn't answer my question"

"Okay... No..."

"Aww, Phil!"

 

-

 

***one month later***

 

"Hey Dan... So you know my apartment?"

"The one we're currently in? Yes, I'm familiar with it, Phil", Dan laughed.

"Yeah... Hm, so you know how you spend most of your time here? I was thinkin' maybe you should move in"

Dan's face was surprised, with a hint of amusement. He shook his head.

"I'd love that Phil, though I have to talk to Louise about it"

I lunged and hugged him, squashing him against the sofa's cushions.

 

-

 

***one year later***

 

Dan's holding Louise's newborn daughter, Alice, like she's the most precious thing in the world and he's afraid to break her. Darcy is sitting on my lap, watching them.

Looking at my partner like this makes me realize how much I love him, how I want to have kids with him, marry and grow old with him.

"Is it going to be tonight?", Darcy turns her head and whispers in my ear.

I whisper back, "Yes".

The little box in my pocket sits heavy. Dan looks at me and smiles, oblivious. His nails are painted with glittery polish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read, commented and kuddo'ed, it means a lot!


End file.
